In the October 2008 issue of Popular Mechanics the featured article is “101 Skills Every Man Should Know”
Now I know what you are thinking. “That would be useful to know.”
You would think so wouldn’t you? But upon perusing the article I found it decidedly lacking. Sure it had some stuff like:
- How to hide a secret room.
- Grill with charcoal.
- Hang food in the wild.
- Drive in snow.
- Conquer an off road obstacle.
Most of the items were along the lines of:
- Tape drywall.
- Iron a shirt.
- Paint a straight line.
- Solder wire.
- Change a diaper.
I am sure some of the above skills are useful and will come in handy somehow, sometime… maybe.
But come the Apocalypse, Zombie Uprising, Rise of the Machines or invasion by the scaly Intergalactic Imperial Lizards just how useful would it be to know how to “Iron a Shirt”?
“Oh here come the Zombies. I had better iron a shirt so I look good when they eat my brains.”
Sure it would be useful to know how to “hang food in the wild” but you have to catch your bloody food first. Or “how to hide a secret room” but no mention on how to build gun racks for your room or how thick the walls have to be to stand up to a nuclear strike or how to vent out the exhaust fumes from the generator without giving away your position.
Would it not be more useful to know how to reload your auto shotgun in three and a half seconds while fending off a hoard of Brain Eaters.
So here is my challenge to you, my loyal, and hopefully prepared, readers.
I want you to list five useful skills that a man or woman should have and if you have any of those skills.
I know we have touched on this subject before in the late Journalspace however we have some recent additions to our little community and I need to know who would be useful to admit into the People’s Republic of Redcliffestan or tie to stakes as decoys.
17 comments:
Strip and clean your weapons in the dark.
Setting snares and traps. Can't shoot when you're hiding.
Making tripped IED's.
Urban and rural terrain camouflage techniques.
Being able to drive ANYTHING.
For me it boils down to the Bear Grylls of Man v Wild against Adam Savage, Jamie Hyneman of mythbusters skill sets.
Do you want to be able to walk out of the middle of the Kimberley with just a knife and a tarp or be able to jury rig a hot water system.
So for me its a combination of the two
Catch animals for food - abiet fish, use a bow, trap etc..
construct, repair and maintain your clothes.
know and practice the basis of hygiene and 1st aid.
Make a fire
have no shame about anything when it comes to survival
Barnes I meet your Bear Grylls and raise you Les Stroud "Survivourman", though I agree that's an ideal combination of skill sets.
http://www.survivorman.ca/
Sharpen an edged weapon, properly.
Survival techniques for the area you live in.
A knowledge of how your equipment works, for e.g. car repairs/modifications (got to be able mount those twin 50's to Havoc's ute bed properly)
Knowing a group of people who want to and are able to survive.
Knowing your area of operations.
Five ticks.
-Ability to rig up a simple electrical system. A pedal generator or small solar panel to a bank of batteries would do to run a light. Or if you're holed up on a farm with a windmill, you could maybe even run a pump or small fridge. Damn near back to civilization in that case.
-Some basic construction skills to add to/repair your shelter.
-Knowledge and ability to use hand-powered tools.
-Basic Medical knowledge, preferably with the ability to use local medicinal plants, if any.
-Metal working skills, probably at the 'blacksmith' level.
I've got some of the construction skills, but as for the rest, well, looks like I'm bait. Salatamus te mortum!
How to suck up to people that have useful skills so that they will look after you.
the ability to Think strategically and act tactically
The ability to command others
multiple weapon proficiencies
Identify, cat, kill and cook food
Not scared of BLOOD
I have to go with Nautilus, so that will fall under under my first item:
1. Ability to NETWORK
2. Know how to iron a shirt, cause the ladies like a guy that's well put together. Just because there's only a few men and a few women left after a holocaust does not mean you're guaranteed to get some action. The difference between the hot survivor doing me vs. doing Havock could come down to how good I look. I can't rely simply on the fact that I'm not covered in the blood of an edible animal.
3. The ability to drive a manual transmission. "Can't find 'em, grind 'em" is not acceptable in either a pre- OR post-apocalyptic society.
4. The ability and desire to find the elusive multiple female orgasm. Again, guys like me will need every advantage we can get over the guys that know how to feed a small community of survivors.
5. The whole not scared of blood thing.
1, how to catch food and prepare it in many different envirnments
2, Weapon proficiency
3, combat medical skills
4, Be able to drive most vehicles
5, climbing skills
The ability to run faster then at least one of the survivors I'm with, hoping that the zombies will go for him/her and buy me an extra few seconds.
1. The ability to track, others or dinner.
2. The ability to shoot to kill over long distances.
3. Water divining ability.
4. Leadership quailities.
5. Good supply of quick lime and a few deep holes for those who disagree with you being in charge.
DD, #2 rules out Lermontov....I still recall his story about basically emptying a .22 rifle trying to kill one rabbit.
If anyone ever needed a Holy Hand Grenade, it was that guy.
Steve, you have to remember that Lerm was an officer and so never expected to have to fire a weapon accurately!!
Would that explain why he has thus far, apparently, been unable to get any of his conquests pregnant?
I'd say that was in the best interests of all involved.
JB and Flinty's book had a bunch of useful skills which, once mastered, made me into the man I am today. Despite that I'd recommend reading it.
Oh, it's also very useful to know how to open a beer bottle (a non-twist off) without using a bottle opener. Any 90 degree (actually, 270 degree might be the more appropriate measurement) metal or wood edge is sufficient. Although, my friend seemed to disagree when I tried using his backyard picnic table.
1. Use and maintenance of weapons - bang bangs, knives, spears, bows, nulla nullas, woomeras, methane gas.
2. Hunting, trapping, skinning and butchering animals
3. Identifying plants useful as food and medicine
4. Brewing and distilling delicious beverages
5. Constructing breweries and distilleries.
I've got some skills in the hunting and killing of things and how to build a fire but that's about it.
When I was 11, my grandfather drew for me a perfect working schematic of a still, for me to use in a project I was doing on the US state of Arkansas (which has a history of illegal distilleries), so I could probably figure something out. It helps that my grandfather grew up with a still in the house.
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Arrgh!Speak up or hang from the yard arm. Arrgh!